The Soul Selects Her Own Society....

Updated: October 25th, 2011...

Thank you T for sharing this poem with me....

Emily Dickinson

The Soul selects her own Society
Then shuts the Door
To her divine Majority
Present no more

Unmoved she notes the Chariots pausing
At her low Gate
Unmoved an Emperor be kneeling
Upon her Mat

I've known her from an ample nation
Choose One
Then close the Valves of her attention
Like Stone

So I never really wrote it, I never really said, I usually show it and at the same time I really didn't need to say it. My bottom submissive shoot days well, that was in the previous chapter. I love bottoming, I love to submit, but that's progressed into something virginal to me. It's become personal like shooting boy girl porn became. I love session work. But again, the emotion, the exchange has become too personal to me that I step back and carry on...close the valve of my attention and keep open the valve the attention towards me, progressing of me.

I promised myself 4 years ago when I set foot into porn to stop if it doesn't feel right. Stop if it's just for a paycheck. Stop if you know it will change you and burn you out. I loved every experience I have had. I am so thankful I have bottomed for so many skilled riggers and performers that truly opened a path to my Dominant side and truly gave me a fucking spine. With that solid fucking spine I step away from my Gypsy living and start living in sweet solitude and smelling the dead leaves, smelling the roses...creating differently and training not for a shoot but just for me.

So I politely decline. Yes it is a paycheck but my heart and being says it's not right anymore. That innocent school girl look, that girl next door look... I can be that rrr and in my civilian life I am the girl next door with that kinky dirty girl streak that always peeks out in day to day life.

What does this mean now? I was a Dominatrix who still shoots female cat fight and wrestling videos as well as a little bit of lesbian porn. I run my own clips4sale stores. And I am building a home while playing music again. Wallah!

So farewell clients in US, UK and Europe. You have helped me to grow. Farewell to many producers I enjoyed working and whom I may never see again. Don't be a stranger and thank you for the well wishes. I'm still here, but I'm taking the passenger seat looking out the window and smiling from all the good and all the bad and all the beauty and all the ugly I have tasted. I'll pop in to shoot for fun as that's a part of me but not all about me. Enrichment. Contentment. Inspired... so so inspired.

xo
Dia