The Itch as a Switch

Since I was little, I realized I was different. From writing poems inside my closet walls to wrestling the neighborhood boys so they wouldn't tattle on me to playing tied up and me being tied up... what is a switch?

All I know is it's a balance for me. Similar to having a kink in your neck that you have to get rubbed out or visit the chiropractor for an adjustment, I need a balance. I can't dominate without submitting. I can't overly dominate and not have the need to submit.

I feel as though that balance helps me grow. Whenever I plan a scene with a submissive, I reflect back on what my mentors have done to me, where my head was, how I processed and how I loved, cried, screamed and swore.

I had a beautiful week as a bottom last week. I say bottom as I felt like I wasn't submissive, I felt like I opened myself to any possibility to loving, crying, screaming and swearing. Did I get it all out? No. Did I learn a lot? Yes. I learned self forgiveness and the idea of being in a D/s relationship with myself.

Whoa, that sounds bipolar but I am 100% cool. I just answer all the animals in me with one loud scream and that scream is carnal, that scream is woman and that scream is my whole being wrapped up into a smile, a laugh and a hug.

I want to always be real in scenes and how I dominate in sessions. BDSM is this lovely interpretive entity that I water, nurture and cherish.

I promise not to avoid it but to educate it. I promise to give as I have been given. And I always promise to allow mistakes, savor the little things and most importantly know when to use my safe word.

Live the life you want and smile at your challenges. Fear is such a silly notion when that restraint, gag, cane, flogger or boot is there to absorb it for you.

xoxo
Dia